Kindness is Contagious!

Families,
This morning we worked together as a class to talk about what it means to be kind. Part of this was looking at what it means to be unkind, too! We realized that there are two types of unkindness. The first is accidental or thoughtless- things we say or do without thinking about how they will affect others. The second type is intentional unkindness- name calling, excluding others, rude remarks, etc. 

In third grade we have both, and we brainstormed examples and possible solutions for what to do or say when a friend is being unkind. Students had an opportunity to share incidents when someone had been unkind to them, then we discussed ways to not make these mistakes. Groups created skits to show better solutions to everyday situations using kindness. 

We watched this video and brainstormed ways we could show kindness to one another, and how being kind inspires others to be kind.. it's contagious! 

We ended our morning by taking a "Kindness Pledge" to try to do and say more kind things to those around us.

The period between ages 8 and 10 is a critical time, developmentally, for children and their social skills. Children exhibit behaviors that adults may not fully relate to, but that are perfectly normal in this stage. From  Deborah Wood, Ph.D.'s book on Child Development: 

Friends

An 8-year-old’s world is his friends. His life is wrapped around his social contact—through school, the neighborhood and after-school activities. As when he was 4, he does best with a steady bunch of friends so they can do the same things over and over, learning to play off each other’s moods and personalities. At 8, they may still enjoy make believe—with puppets, dolls or action figures, or with simple costumes and props. If you’re lucky, you get to be the audience for a performance. Fairy tales, television shows, movies and each other’s imaginations serve as inspiration for their dramas. Your 8-year-old needs a friend or two or three to play board games and age-appropriate video games, partly so they can argue about the rules. With a small group, they can play classic outdoor games such as hopscotch and kickball, and all the many variations of tag. Legos are still popular with this age and can consume hours of playtime with a good friend. There are always new toys on the market, and you can be sure that friends keep each other up to date. Some, like Pokeman and Bakugan cards, are designed to encourage trading and negotiation. 

Enemies and Allies

Friendships can also spark enemies. “Let’s not like him,” can be a strategy to cement a common bond against a child who is socially inept. Eight-year-olds are very critical, looking for the weaknesses among their peers. Meanness, ironically, is a trait they will cite as a reason to ostracize someone. “Clique” behavior can include not only leaving someone out, but telling them why they don’t measure up. Teasing, name-calling and bragging are the weapons of choice. We all know it’s not true that “words will never hurt you.” If you discover your child is among the teasers, you can help sensitize him to the perspective of the victim. You may also discover he himself is being teased. The silver lining here is that the experience may make him less likely to victimize someone else. You can try to inoculate your child against the stings of verbal aggression with all the tactics that keep self-esteem high. Give him lots of opportunities for success by supporting homework time, by helping him cultivate at least one hobby and by holding him responsible for his portion of the household chores. And keep your eyes and ears open for signs he is struggling with his social standing. Talk with other adults who may know more about what’s going on or who have the ability to manipulate who sits next to whom on a field trip. Adult alliances can discreetly minimize hurtful social behavior.

By focusing on and acknowledging Kind behaviors, we can help children learn through these situations and move forward with positive behaviors, increased self esteem, and improved social relationships. This will be a continued focus throughout the rest of our year. At home, please encourage your child to reflect back on the day and remember acts of kindness either by them or done/said to them. 

Thank you, and have a great day!